I know that you can barely see my face with this mask on, but can you please at least look at me?
Personally, I've been struggling a with the lack of social interaction that I've had since the onset of COVID. I've been in quarantine since the middle of March, and even though I've moved back to my campus for the fall semester, I know that campus life hasn't been the most engaging due to online classes. I personally have stared at a screen for more time than I've seen a human face this school year. And, even though I'm slightly awkward when it comes to random social interactions with strangers, I've noticed that everyone is especially to themselves, either staring at their phone or only talking to someone when it benefits them directly.
Of course, I feel like the act of trying to socialize has gotten easier in a sense, at least on campus; for example, I've had the same girl try to introduce herself to me about three or four different times when we both used a school elevator. She'll probably introduce herself again, and I really admire her initiative. While some are severely reducing their social interactions, other people are still desperately trying to connect with each other, starting small talk in stalled lines, complimenting masks or shoes, or even just introducing themselves if they're heading in the same direction as someone else.
For me, though, that hasn't been working so well.
For starters, not only do I cringe at the idea of small talk, but I suck at it. Like, really suck at it. My brain seems to immediately blank at the end of explaining "how my semester is going" or "how I am," and an awkward silence combined with a desperate brain-wracking for more light subjects to talk about seems to take up more time than the other person can probably spare. In an effort to continue a conversation, I usually end up just saying things that are slightly related (but not really) to the topic at hand, which sometimes works but often does not. My other common strategy is to continue asking people about their lives. Usually, this does the trick (because more often than not everyone likes to talk about their own experiences), but if that continues, I feel like it inevitably creates a dynamic where someone is only concerned about their own feelings and opinions. That is, if the conversation even makes it past the small talk stage and turns into a friendship.
I do have some friends, which I'm grateful for, and there is also more time that I'm able to spend by myself. However, I feel like the increased amount of "me time" has caused me to be more introverted. Instead of seeking out social opportunities, now I feel like I'm running from them when they get too loud or too awkward. And unfortunately, this is completely counterintuitive to the livin' my best life attitude that I've wanted to have during this school year. I was expecting to get my life together, socially and emotionally speaking, but with the continuation of social distancing it seems as if the only emotions I'm dealing with are burnout, irritation, and the occasional bout of sadness. It doesn't help that things are only continuing to get worse, either.
So, what do we do?
I've been starting by trying really hard to connect with my old friends. Since it's only my third semester in school, working on a closer relationship with my friends from last year is a good step to feel less alone. This includes (but is not limited to) getting to know more about their personal lives, doing things that are new to me but familiar/enjoyable to them, and listening to stories about their past. I'm also trying harder to not be so "walled up" and talking more about my past, too. In regards to "me time," Introspection might be my new middle name. While it's not healthy to introspect 24/7, it might be a good idea to learn more about how you operate, and why you operate the way that you do. Why do I burn out so often when it comes to schoolwork? What are things that I do all the time that I'm not necessarily interested in doing all the time?
Unfortunately, that's all that I have to suggest for your guys right about now; since I am currently recovering from burnout and this whole ordeal is still ongoing, I'm happy to write a part two to this particular post. Maybe I'll even do some internet-digging to find a more formal answer to this social deprivation topic. Until then, though, I hope you guys take care of yourselves!
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